Why Silence is Good … and Bad

I was in a client meeting this morning, the only one born early enough to understand the significance of Neil Armstrong’s July 20, 1969 walk on the moon. The moon really isn’t that far away—only about 240,000 miles—and many business travelers fly farther than that each year. But back in the late 1960s when the Apollo 11 rocket ship blasted into uncharted imagination, the spaceship challenged the boundaries of what man knew as possible; the lunar expedition caused the entire world to freeze and watch. I remember how ancient Armstrong seemed to be–although 39 seems a lot younger today than it did back then.

Soon after landing Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin spent 2½ hours stomping footprints in the lunar dust while Michael Collins orbited above in the command module. Communications between Earth and the astronauts were very brief, terse, clipped exchanges garbled with static and distortion. Sound clarity was impacted by distance and the limitations of existing technology.

Four decades later digital technology saturates our lives; but back in the ‘60s nearly all electronic transmission was limited to an analog methodology. Analog conveys data as electronic signals of varying frequency (or amplitude) that coattail the carrier waves of a given frequency. Broadcast and phone transmission has conventionally used analog technology and endured its limitations. Anyone who’s experienced digital and analog understands that digital has enabled the world’s communication opportunities to accelerate. Because of how technology has influenced communication, the world has shrunk and behaviors have changed.

Back then there was a lot of silence between NASA’s ground crew and astronauts. Communications resembled nothing like the instant, non-stop chatter and clarity of every sight and sound as we live our lives bathed in YouTube, Twitter, smart phones, Skype, and the internet. Today lives are louder now than ever before. And soon they will be even louder.

Since I seem to be a contrarian—a man who thinks tools should be slave to us instead of vice-versa—I believe that true silence will never go out of style. Sometimes in life silence is extraordinarily valuable. But other times it’s not.

As a loud, crowded, impatient world bangs its pots and pans and demands relentless attention, managing the noise can be difficult. After all, the world does not care about interrupting someone else’s silence. The world (and just about everyone in it) believes that he or she has something to say. And if he or she thinks it’s worth sharing, they will use as many communication portals as possible to paint the world their chosen color.

Despite that, silence remains a vital part of healthy living and silence by choice can be great or detrimental. Listed below are four reasons to explain both the good and the bad it brings to crowded lives.

Why silence is beneficial:
•    Silence gives us time to think. Thinking shapes or reshapes feelings. Feelings feed actions.
•    Quiet enables us to gain or regain control of ideas, concepts, changes, viewpoints or opinions that should or should not reside in our minds. The crowded mind can become disorderly. Quiet can restore the order.
•    Silence lets us think carefully through both sides of a lens tied to a tough problem or difficult decision: the potential upside and risky downside, the pluses and minuses, the pros and cons, or the risks and rewards. Noise is distracting and lures us to rush. Quiet time lets us carefully study both sides of an important issue and frees us to sell it to ourselves from two, disparate points of view. After both sides are studied without bias, the best option usually prevails.
•    Silence by design also enables us to relax, read, and concentrate—not to skim (which is increasing) but to study, retain, and apply new knowledge (which is decreasing). Silence enables us to accumulate wisdom; distractions are wisdom’s barrier. Too many worry too much these days about where to find something rather than striving to accumulate knowledge that leads to better decision-making, especially under pressure.

Four reasons (bad) silence can have a negative impact:
•    If we’re in an unhappy place or stewing in negative energy, bad silence encourages us to stew even more. This is never good; smart people never self-create or linger in a thinking climate that perpetuates negativity.
•    Bad silence can and will reinforce self-doubt.
•    Brooding over uncontrollable things tempts us into the dark and endless tunnel of the “what ifs?” The mind processes uncontrollable worries to the worst possible extreme, which almost never happens. This is negative thinking at its worst. Guard against it.
•    Withdrawing strips away some of our most vital transmitters to effective interpersonal communication. These include non-verbal cues, voice and tone, interactive response, etc. These losses can be especially limiting for personality types who tend to be shy, indirect or tactful. Answers are often around us–somewhere on the exterior–and not always within us. Shutting in by choice can be the longest way to a remedy.

We often hear that we never learn when we speak, but only when we listen. Dial into the silence of your life and become acutely aware of whether that silence is positive or negative. If life’s too hectic and you realize you don’t have enough think time in it, make room. A good life leverages smart silence. Harvest the good, weed out the bad–it will help you stay happy and balanced.