Mindfulness: Finding & Protecting the Best Version of You

With more than half of voting Americans feeling stress from the current political mayhem we are forced to endure, it’s easier than any time since the Great Recession to get so lost in emotional noise we lose track of happiness and contentment. This, of course, begs the question, “What can we do to get back to, and maintain, a more upbeat and positive place?”

My new book, The Impact of Technology on Behavior & Happiness, talks about the political impact of digital reliance on “stinkin’ thinkin'”and explains the behavioral dynamics of the multiple factors causing the stress that annoys us. But for those who aren’t book readers, here are eight suggestions on how to regain a more positive state of “mindfulness.”

1. Decide to get there. Ratchet up your mindful awareness. Minds travel two ways, horizontally and vertically, so step one is deciding that what’s inside your is worth inspecting and governing. What’s in there matters, what you choose to think about matters, what you decide to look for–the good or the bad, the positive or the negative– matters, and how you feel about life in general and things in particular matter.
2. Own your air space. I like to teach that our minds can be one of two things, an open bar with full access for all…or a castle protected by a drawbridge. Commit to your head being a castle. Life will get a whole lot easier a whole lot faster. Just because someone or some thing (for example, the election’s hateful rhetoric) has access to your mind does not mean that he, she, or it has a right to be there. Lower the drawbridge, sweep out the noise, and re-raise your protective drawbridge. Access to your mind should be by invitation only.
3. Examine your stress creators. We find in life what we look for. If you search inside for the causes of emotional irritation, you will find them. If you aren’t sure how to find the true root cause those things, here’s a trick: Ask yourself “why” five times. Why does that bother you? Once you answer that, ask, “Why does that bother me?” And keep going. Within five whys you will know the exact root cause truth of why something makes you unhappy. Have no fear where the self-diagnosis takes you. The introspection and truth will take you exactly where you need to go.
4. Manage the Worry Circle. The Worry Circle is the imaginary bubble in the mind that houses everything we worry about. Worries are portable but the Circle must stay full at all times, and fall into three types: controllables, uncontrollables, and influence issues. Controllables we can address through our own actions. Uncontrollables are bigger than our ability to remedy. Influence issues are things we can somewhat impact but not resolve. The mind processes all three in different ways. Controllable issues are good for us because they inspire action. When something bugs us enough, we deal with it. Uncontrollables are deadly because the mind spins them into hypothetical situations that almost never occur. Influence issues are a blend of both. With those, separate the controllable portion from the uncontrollable part and own  what you can control. Sweep the rest–the uncontrollable portion– out of the castle and re-raise the drawbridge. Keep your Worry Circle and castle occupied by only controllable concerns. Kick out all the rest.
5. Invest in critical thinking. Critical thinking involves managing by fact and excessive computer time is a devil’s pitchfork that jabs the fact-finding process. Politically speaking, there is so much noise (and bogus misstatements higher than Everest) that heads are easily crowded with roiling emotions. Which takes us to #6:
6. Unplug. The core of you is not found in a machine. The core of you is a straight line drawn between your head and heart. When head and heart are aligned, happiness or contentment result. But when they misalign things get discombobulated. Leave your phone behind and go exercise your big muscles in whatever fashion makes you happy. Walk the dog, ride your bike, or hang out with friends with a no-phone rule. The best way to replenish your thoughts through heightened awareness will come from living in the moment. Seek it, find it, insist on it, and protect it. For me, what works is blocking out commercial TV and radio. Too much noise, too many commercials. I trade those two for “think time”. Find what works for you….and do it.
7. Find joy in the smallest of things. I know too many grumpy, dissatisfied rich people, virtually all of whom are blind to life’s simple, happy moments. For me these come disguised as watching hummingbirds, ravens, pandas, elephants and rhinos, beautiful flowers, changing leaves, and nature navigating all four seasons. The little things feed the soul. Know them, and cherish them, when you see them.
8. Lastly…….pay the price to be happy. Until you’re happy with who you are, you’ll never be happy with what you have so do yourself a big favor: Commit to living a life where your head and heart are aligned. Recognize and cherish the moments that bring you joy, as those moments come to you. Collect them. Be grateful for them. And then pass one on to someone you care about.

If I missed one, let me know. Thanks for reading.

Best always,