I came across an article in Inc. magazine recently that really lit my tail on fire. In it, the author shared his opinion of how to criticize employees. Basically speaking, his advice was to berate and browbeat your people so they’ll straighten up and perform better.
Everything about his approach and techniques rankled me as wrong, outmoded, and ineffective. I felt the article was poorly thought out, disorganized, and seemed to have been churned out as if the man were double-parked.
Having a forum does not make one an expert on anything. I coach performance and self-motivation and trust me: Berating and browbeating have nothing to do with inspiration and motivation.
His “advice” was heavy on criticism and intimidation, so to me it was an old school flashback to sweatshop leadership. White-collar bullying is what it was. I was somewhere between surprised and shocked that Inc. magazine even ran the piece — and wondered if they’d even read it.
If a manager is so lacking in self-esteem that he or she attempts to boost their own by ripping employees, the manager should be replaced. If he or she does not know how to spin a negative situation into a learning experience, they should immediately be taught — or replaced.
By definition “constructive criticism” is the verbal pairing of conflicting terms.
“Constructive” means helpful, productive, useful, and beneficial — which are, of course, positive terms.
“Criticism” is defined as censure, disapproval, disparagement, condemnation, and denigration.
Pairing these two words — constructive criticism — infers the intent of a positive outcome. While I hate the term and rarely use it — it’s nearly as grating as constructive feedback — don’t say negative things about others and pretend the term applies. Being harsh isn’t constructive, it’s being rude or a bully.
Whenever we face a negative situation, we can either blame and browbeat others — which the Inc. article in essence recommended — or coach others to learn from it with the hope and expectation we’ll avoid a repeat occurrence.
Behaviors are different than people, and when something goes wrong it is imperative to separate the two. Instead of stabbing someone in the front or back, do this:
- Coach the behavior. PERSONAL ATTACKS ARE NOT ALLOWED! People aren’t “stupid.” Decisions may be shallow and shortsighted and mistakes may be made but don’t hurt someone just because you can.
- If the situation were to arise again, ask the person you’re coaching to share other options that might produce a better result. Don’t tell them. Make them think it through, suggest alternatives, pick the best, and explain why.
- Coach formulaically: positive, negative, positive. Without perfuming the pig, say something positive about the person, coach the behavioral disappointment, and finish with a positive reaffirmation that demonstrates confidence in the person you are counseling. Coach the behavior. Don’t blame the person.
- Always coach negative situations in private. Never air a grievance in an open arena. The walls have ears. Worse, the ramifications of a public dressing down are injurious to your reputation.
Inspiring leadership relies on managing the emotional experiences of your people, which means you can’t just say it — you must do it. Even when faced with an undesirable result, you cannot vent frustration meanly upon the troops.
Talent has options, which means that if it is treated with disrespect it will look for somewhere new to work — where respect is more than just a word in the dictionary. Once talent starts leaving, good people keep leaving. And if that happens, you’ll be in a world of hurt for having run off your staff. Sourcing, hiring, onboarding, training, and getting new people up the effectiveness curves is an expensive proposition. Performance will suffer. The heat in the kitchen will be self-inflicted.
It is far better to inspire others by withholding your temper and coaching for positive change. If you get upset to the point you want to yell, do the opposite — go for a long walk. Look at those you pass on the street who have bigger problems to deal with. This will recalibrate perspective and prepare you to go back inside and do the right thing — which is to coach — instead of the easy thing, which is to yell.
Do this and you can turn a negative situation into a positive experience for everyone.