I recently read an article in Inc magazine that really set my tail feathers on fire. It was called “How to Criticize Employees: 6 Rules,” which landed on me as one nearly clueless man writing about something he knew little about but pretending to be an expert. He was nowhere close.
I barely midway through his random, disorganized list of six guesses when I thought two things:
- If anyone treated him this way, he would not like it — the only conceivable result would be acrimony. And …
- Having a forum to publish haphazard gobbledygook makes no one an expert. I must offer a better approach.
Like all bloggers, he and I have two things in common: an opinion plus a portal of distribution. Beyond that, pertaining to this topic, he and I are nearly diametrically opposed. I am a bear on semantics; his word choices seemed lazy, which made his message ineffective enough not to be believed.
I am, by passion and profession, a corporate executive coach. I have taught around the world and have also been, in terms of experience, around the block. Dealing with others smartly — and positively — as part of a high performance culture is a cornerstone of what I teach. There are rights ways and wrong ways to supply a verbal butt-propulsion. This is especially true today, where four generations of workers are shuffled through the decks of companies around the world.
Praise and criticism are distinct but disparate forms of communication. Praise is easy, as is criticism to anger: ready, aim, fire!
Criticism that gets the message across and generates a positive coaching is technique sensitive. The greats do it with skilled finesse.
Communication between two individuals has four pillars: the sender, receiver, channel, and message. The Inc article lacked even this basic understanding. When you do not understand the basics, your opinion is at best a very weak guess.
To compare and contrast, shown below are his six points in italics — listed in order — accompanied by my comments.
1. Treat criticism as a form of feedback. A double dose of fingernails-on-chalkboard! Criticism is, by primary definition, the act of disapproval. Feedback also denotes a negative connotation: a shrill, unwanted noise from a loudspeaker. Both words, “criticism” and “feedback,” do not belong in the same sentence. Individually, each is negative. Together, they again connote a negative emotional experience. What he should have said: Coach the situation in private. The format to follow is formulaic: positive, negative, positive. Demonstrate positive confidence in the person, correct the ill-advised behavior, and wrap up the coaching moment with a statement of positive reaffirmation.
2. Provide criticism on an ongoing basis. Warning flare! What he should have said: People who feel the need to regularly criticize others reek of self-esteem shortcomings. This point cuts straight to the heart of the difference between a manager and leader: a manager inspects, while a leader inspires results through others. The key word in that last sentence is, of course, “inspire.” Being criticized is hardly the aphrodisiac of self-propulsion.
Making criticism part of your personal brand went out of vogue 15 years ago — only a Boomer is dumb enough to still do it. In today’s multi-generational workforce, that concept — ongoing criticism — guarantees just one thing: It will keep H/R very busy filling a merry-go-round of job openings. Regular criticism drips on workers like water torture. People can only take so much; and then they will flee.
3. Dole out criticism in small doses. Nonsense. What he should have said: Manage the situation. Nitpickers and micromanagers annoy people all the time — often without realizing it by using backhanded compliments (ex. “You did better than I expected,” which intimates a negative standard.
The cumulative result of relentless small dose criticism is debilitating. Over time it will suck the life right out of organizational morale. Far more impactful is firm, fair coaching from someone whose brand is normally supportive and upbeat.
4. Begin by asking questions. Here is where I spit-taked my coffee. Anybody who gets to number four and writes, “Begin by” clearly has no idea where to begin. You Begin with point number one! Even if we granted the merits of learning more information, what type of questions should someone ask? This statement — Begin by asking questions — pains me as much as sales “trainers” who say similar stupid things like, “Ask a lot of questions.” Why? So you can tick them off faster?
What he should have said: Ask good, relevant questions with a very specific purpose. Telling someone to ask questions without explaining what type and why is like tossing a mechanic an adjustable wrench and ordering him to tune up a car.
There are three reasons we ask questions in business: to seek information, clarify what we’ve heard, and test our understanding. All three contribute in their own unique way to a substantive, effective coaching discussion. Knowing when to use each enables us to accumulate multiple fact-based data points without judgment prior to acting upon (or reacting to) a potential flareup.
5. Listen, acknowledge, and learn. Spare me. What he should have said: The point here is “manage by fact.” See clearly from both sides of an issue through what is a curved lens: theirs and yours. Managers with titular power who jump in and wield it by “constructively criticizing” all too often do it by force of habit, a kneejerk reaction, or premeditation.
6. Address the behavior, not the person. It took awhile, but we finally got to a point of agreement.
What I saw in his disorganized list of six looked to me like the footprints of unknowing (and ineffective) micromanagement.
I realize how hard it is for any of us who write frequently to churn out a quality piece every time. And I also know this: You will have much better luck by learning how to coach positively — the right way — than by “any old way.”
Boomer managers tend to manage by Boomer behaviors. They are old and outdated. Move forward. Manage more effectively by following the suggestions I have outlined above. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. I’m happy to help.