Barbara King of NPR recently reintroduced Amy Chua’s inflammatory opinions into the discussion of success in modern America.
Chua wrote a book about raising her daughter according to the strict (high) expectations of her own parents, who were Chinese immigrants. Chua now considers herself an expert and recently co-authored a rather nutty column in the New York Times called “What Drives Success?”
I do not know who at the Times decided Chua deserves a pulpit in this discussion, but her racist words tout the superiority of Mormons, Jews, and Americans of Indian, Iranian, Lebanese and Chinese backgrounds.
While hers is one of the dumber arguments I’ve read recently, Chua explained her reasoning with these three shared cultural traits:
- A superiority complex. These people truly believe they are exceptional, gifted above others. [counterpoint: Alex Rodriguez]
- Insecurity. Nothing they accomplish is ever good enough. [counterpoint: Philip Seymour Hoffman]
- Impulse control. Sustained discipline to do what must be done, not what you would like to do. [counterpoint: Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, et al.]
Chua says her superior cultures blend these three things to rise above the rest. Core to her argument are money and fame. Measurement tools include:
- Earning power.
- Corporate leadership.
- High scores for admission into select prep schools.
- Getting admitted to an Ivy League college.
Chua added other success yardsticks like serving on the Supreme Court, winning a Tony award, and being named a Nobel laureate.
Such silliness smacks the face of life’s true definition of success.
The dictionary defines success as “achievement of intention.” Fame, wealth, and power are secondary mentions – not primary – along with “something that turns out well.”
Let’s trust the dictionary and use ‘achievement of intention’ as the word’s true definition. Here, then, is what success truly looks like:
- Success is performing a job we find satisfying and meaningful, like teaching children, working with animals, making widgets, or dispensing medicine.
- Success is creating, whether by painting, writing stories or poetry, making people laugh, or writing and playing music alone, in a band, or symphony.
- Success is demonstrating pride in home ownership, fixing a car, or making furniture.
- Success is keeping the needs of others above a selfish desire.
- Success is giving more than taking, knowing that happiness comes from the inside out and never through materialistic accumulation.
- Success is knowing you cannot help the poor by becoming one of them, nor can you help the poor by ignoring them. Kindness is interactive.
- Success is engaging in your community, church, and non-corporate America.
- Success is inspiring positive change through social justice, making a difference by working on issues of poverty, hunger, mental health, and human rights.
- Success is seeking help when you need it; or helping others who face a struggle.
- Success is being involved in local affairs like libraries, community choral and theater groups, or arts and science events at museums, schools, recreation centers, and universities.
- Success is never stopping education in areas of personal interest.
- Success is dreaming and pursuing goals, unrestricted by the shackles of limitations imposed by what others think.
- Success is subjective or objective improvement on the road to personal growth.
- Success is applauding, not seeking applause.
- Success is confronting issues that create past baggage—and dealing with them once and for all.
- Success is the alignment of head and heart, with happiness radiating from the inside out.
- Success is contentment. It is being happy with who you are, the choices you make, the boundaries in which you live, and the grace with which you age.
- Success is embracing all people as one and the same – and never as an ethnic stereotype.
- Success is realizing that in the grand scheme of life, money means nothing unless you don’t have any. Money can rent happiness but not buy it or solve issues of true emotional importance.
- Success is realizing that despite what a business card or bank statement says, none of our lives really means anything except for the impact it has on others.
When we reexamine success by its literal meaning, it certainly changes those we see as life’s successes.
Success is way bigger than racial profiling, income, and test scores – all of which are yardsticks of the simple-minded. Success’s more accurate measuring tool would measure how someone blows his or her cash and navigates life.
There are a lot of miserably broken rich people out there, and a whole lot of happy poor ones. It seems fair to the question, “Who is the bigger success?”
Dollar signs and trophies don’t go in the casket, and should never define success. What goes in the casket is a person who was happy or sad, a giver or taker, benevolent or selfish, fulfilled or not, significant in the lives of others or self-centered.
The right combination of those, regardless of ethnicity, seems a far better measure of success.