Who’s your most valuable compadre, a real person or your cell phone? A tongue-in-cheek point to ponder, perhaps, but there is a danger in dehumanizing our lives to the extent we rely on our phones and iPads more than what blossoms inside the mind.
I recently watched two TV shows with dramatically contrasting approaches and themes: After Life by Ricky Gervais and Emily in Paris starring Lily Collins.
After Life is a very “inside-the-head” black comedy about a man struggling to get over the loss of his wife from breast cancer. The world Gervais writes about, grief and its collateral damage, is relatable. We all have either been there or are headed there. The way mortality randomly operates, grief lurks just around the corner.
Gervais’s character is not a phone person. He is a life experiential person whose interactions with people from all walks of life are always face-to-face. He is brusque at times, rude quite often, and loving and caring when he senses others need a boost dealing with struggles of their own. Mindfulness is not something Gervais is familiar with at his time of loss and self-awareness evolves as episodes unfold. At After Life’s conclusion, he is still not completely healed but has been positive in the lives of many others he, and we, come to care about.
Emily in Paris is a show in complete contrast. The premise alone causes a grimace: A young woman with a hopeless digital addiction, lands in Paris to work as a digital marketing swami for a staid and stately Parisian fashion company. Everything about this show rubs me wrong: its normalized acceptance of digital addiction and social media as important, the character’s complete lack of emotional intelligence and self-awareness, and Emily’s obviously barren desert of life skills during formative career years. Coping and resilience skills? None apparent. Is Emily, in Paris or anywhere, ready to mindfully and effectively deal with setbacks and grief sure to come her way? Zero chance. Those skills are between the ears, not in the phone.
This is the tightrope we walk. Unaware on one side of the chasm, fully aware on the other. In times of distress, who would you rather talk to: an introspective fellow who interacts with people or someone addicted to his or her phone who lives and dies by social media?
It is disconcerting to me that popular shows these days are rarely positive, inspiring, optimistic, and upbeat. Many seem to reflect the world around us: greedy, impatient, rude, and self-centered. I don’t particularly like this, but until my films are made I cannot do much to change it. Like the rest of us, my vote must come from time choice decision-making.
I am a life skills advocate for increased self-awareness and mindful emotional intelligence built around fact. Problem is, these days those things do not come to us. We must go find them. That’s not easy but that’s okay, introspective brain exercise is always worth the hunt…and always pays off when life decides you need it.
Take care.
Ocean Palmer
P.S. Throw Will Smith out of the Academy of Arts & Sciences.