The globe wallows in unexpected and ill-prepared turmoil, globally wrapped in an ever-thickening waddling of a virus-spun spiderweb by invisible worldwide foes offering no clues to a potential ending.
The journey we will traverse is long, uphill, and rock strewn. I see it encompassing six stages:
- Novelty.
- Boredom.
- Frustration.
- Reality.
- Panic.
- Despair.
Novelty. For awhile, the newness of our self-sequestrations and limited interactions will have a bit of a “new toy” feel. Dealing with something that we expect will go away soon is tolerable. While people have varying degrees of patience, all of us can at least temporarily accept behavioral change to the traditional status quo. As we have already seen, there are three types of people reacting to the Novelty stage: the early adapters, the followers, and the stragglers. Social peer expectations is increasing pressure upon the stragglers. The masses want compliance.
Boredom. People who live internalized, quiet lives won’t struggle with this one as much as social animals who cannot entertain themselves. Examine time choice decision-making as having four options: invested time, wasted time, spent time, and cherished time. Boredom features disproportionate wasted and spent time, neither of which yields a return. Invested and cherished time yields better results and greater tolerance. If you are bored, examine how your waking hours are passing by. Better choices minimize boredom.
Frustration. I have written often about the importance of managing the Worry Circle. Idle time creates crowded heads; and inside those crowded heads are worries we can control, worries we cannot, and things we can influence but not resolve. Frustration comes from dwelling on things we cannot control. Self-scrutinize feelings of frustration. If you cannot control it—and in this case we can’t control anything big picture and can only control our micro-behaviors—do not stew on things beyond your ability to resolve.
Reality. Reality will stretch like an elongating rubber band. Much like minor and major surgery—minor is when a friend has surgery, major is when you do—how loudly reality will resonate depends upon how much disruption it causes in your life during the short-term, mid-term, and long-term. As bad as the 2008 global recession was, this one appears to be worse. Retirements will be put off or abandoned. People will have to scramble to reinvent themselves. What success looks like will change. New reality calls for new perspective. Fighting it won’t get you anywhere. Accepting it will. No one is alone with his or her setbacks. Millions will go through the exact same thing.
Panic. More Worry Circle revisitation here, which also reflects the second of four steps the mind traverses when a major change is thrust upon us. The first step the brain processes is the evolutionary need for the change to come about. Step two is the Panic Stage, where we internalize and emotionally frame what the change means to us personally. This emotional upheaval can be very dangerous, especially when we languish in hypotheticals. Focus on the third step, which is the Acceptance Stage. This is a logical place, and it is vital to supersede the emotion of panic with the logic of acceptance. Step four is Flourishing under the new reality, which is currently off in the distance. We need not be concerned about step four until we are anchored in step three: acceptance.
Despair. Here I fear for so many, just as I did in 2008 when I published Managing the Worry Circle to help people in the aftershocks of the financial crisis. Too many people do not handle stress well — stress manhandles them — especially those who have never had a towering setback like this bombed upon them. The pain and hypothetical “what ifs” can be overpowering, and it is these helpless emotional conclusions that cause despair. When people struggle to stay emotionally afloat, they ponder desperate things. Self-harm rises, as will harm to others. I do not take it as a positive sign that American gun and ammo sales are at record levels. As we have seen in high-stress third world situations on other continents, despair has a happy trigger finger.
There is no flying carpet to soar above what surrounds us today, nor what will confront us in the future. Steel yourself the best you can to accept the facts, manage your time smartly, and remain acutely aware of your feelings and emotions. Keep an eye on those you care about, too.
In closing, remember that one other thing will help each day, too: Be a hero to someone. This chaotic arena affords a wide open landscape to be one, and Lord knows heroes have never been needed more.
Take care.
Ocean Palmer