Differences between an ordinary coach and a great coach are revealed quickly. Great coaches, over time, accumulate a tremendous archive of relevant tools. They are thought leaders — vested and invested — who can get parachuted into almost any behavioral situation and methodically disseminate causes, effects, and remedies. They research and write books and whitepapers, share their work, and have solid reputations. Five key differentiators between the greats and the masses are :
- Trust
- Implied. First impressions are formed within seconds and once formed are difficult to change. Great coaches have a confident, non-threatening assuredness that comes from their blend of knowledge, skill, and attributes. Great coaches are doing what they are born to do — help others — and quickly convey that in an upbeat, confident manner.
- Explicit. Great coaches define boundaries, rules of safe engagement, and expectations. More importantly they role model all three in every interaction.
- Unconditional. Great coaches are steadfastly unyielding in their commitments, which often extends way beyond confidentiality and contract length.
- Listening skills
- Content. Great coaches have file cabinet memories. They listen, retain, and (when appropriate) recall accurately — in the client’s words, not paraphrased to theirs — things that truly matter.
- Emotion. An average coach will focus on a situation, the words, or its impact. A great coach doesn’t waste time there. He or she immediately works backward. He or she seeks to understand emotional motivation. Clarity comes from insight and understanding, so emotional drivers, and the data points that shaped those drivers, are vital to understanding and trust. Great coaches worry less about what happened and more about understanding why.
- Judgment. Great coaches seek to understand. They do not seek to judge.
- Behavioral explanations
- Relevance. Communication between a great coach and his or her client is an enabler or barrier. There are four elements to effective communication: Sender, Receiver, Channel, and Message. A great coach has total command of all four. Because “what you say and how you say it” either lands or bounces, great coaches construct and deliver messages that land.
- Simplicity. People being coached do not need jargon and big words. They need to experience relevant messages that resonate, are relatable, and easily to understand. This is the art of great coaching. Great coaches can distill complex insight into easy, understandable, embraceable, learning opportunities.
- Impact. Impact is the “land or bounce.” When a learning point lands, it will have impact. An accumulation of impactful exchanges mushroom into absorption. All coaches want to have impact. Great coaches realize the person who will determine whether or not that happens is the client.
- Managing the emotional experience
- Life landscape. Even the strong are broken in places. When gaps exist in real life, the head is overcrowded with stinking thinking, or things are going off the rails for medical or familial reasons, the result often topples dominoes. Great coaches seek to understand life’s landscape, as well as the lens through which the person judges him or herself and others. Work is what we do to pay the bills. Life is what we do with the rest of the money. Great coaches know this.
- Career landscape. Interactions at work can create near-misses, fender-benders, and occasional collisions. These are often caused by style clashes but also by frustration and barriers to fulfillment.
- Self-image. Self-image is what someone thinks of him or herself. Great coaches seek to understand without judgment, as this is what shapes the aperture of life’s curved lens and determines what he or she sees when the mirror looks back.
- Self-esteem. Self-esteem is how someone feels about him or herself. Great coaches build on what’s great and try to give a helpful boost to what isn’t. None of this is accidental. Self-image an self-esteem are vital to happiness, influence, fulfillment, and positive change.
- Happiness. Great coaches are positive, upbeat, realistic communicators who understand how to gauge, teach, and inspire happiness. They teach how positive and negative emotional experiences create a math problem that determines happiness. Most people (but not all) want to be happy. Some don’t care about happy and define success as contentment. Happiness and contentment are different coaching pursuits. Great coaches can diagnose and provide vitamins for both.
- Encouragement. There are a lot of hurt and scarred people out there, some temporarily so and others chronically so. Great coaches see the good and the potential in others. A great coach strives to be a positive force in the universe of those he or she coaches.
- Finding shark’s teeth. A great coach is never shy about pointing out that we find in life what we look for. If we stroll an ocean beach looking for beautiful sea shells, we will find them. If we walk that same stretch of beach looking for the shiny ebony triangles of fossilized shark’s teeth, we will find them . What we find in life depends on what we look for. A great coach will explain this, encouraging and sometimes even cajoling their talent that perhaps they are simply looking for the wrong thing. Look for the good, see the good. Look for the bad, see the bad. Great coaches encourage others to look for the right things.
- Caring. The career of a great coach evolves through upmteen roles, At times he or she is a mentor, confidant, career counselor, father confessor or mother figure, cop, teacher, battlefield medic, marriage counselor, butt kicker, sounding board, cheerleader, public defender, or cut man in the corner of a championship fight. Such are the demands of the profession. Regardless of the situation, what never waivers is this: A great coach cares. He or she is doing what they were born and trained to do, which is help others reach a better place in life and work. You can’t fake this, nor can you teach it. Caring is an attribute and great coaches have it in spades.
When you look to hire or work with a coach, talk to a few. Use this list as your road map. Trust the list and pick the coach who meshes best. Together you will get where you need to go.
Thanks for reading. All the best,
