Mandy Oaklander recently wrote a wonderful piece in TIME magazine about five warning signs of sadness. In it she points out that while physical problems are easy to spot, ones between the ears are not. Most of this article is based on content from her column.
With recent government data reporting that last year approximately 19 percent of American adults had some varying degree of mental illness, one key learning point is that “It is okay not to always be okay.”
Here are the five signs Mandy points out that someone you care about might be struggling:
1. He or she doesn’t seem like him-or-herself lately.
2. He or she is unusually moody or edgy.
3. He or she is acting more withdrawn.
4. He or she is less “put together” than usual.
5. He or she seems overwhelmed by life.
Let’s examine these five one at a time.
1. He or she doesn’t seem like him-or-herself lately.
If someone doesn’t seem as vibrant or happy as usual, trust your instincts and put what you observe into the arena for discussion. Assume your judgments are rooted in accuracy and ask the person, point blank, how you can help.
2. He or she is unusually moody or edgy.
Irritability and frustration are emotional reactions that are often clear signals something is wrong. Agitation might take time for you to navigate to a point of positive discussion but are generally strong signals your friend is hurting.
3. He or she is acting more withdrawn.
If your friend withdraws—vocally or behaviorally—don’t waste time. Engage right away. Whereas emotional outbursts are externally shared, internally withheld ones that involve the person’s rejection of social support are not.
4. He or she is less “put together” than usual.
Boozing or drugging it up, slumming on hygiene and dress, and similar visual clues to unhappiness often signal the need to intervene. Times like this are when compassion and reach-out engagement really matters.
5. He or she seems overwhelmed by life.
People who lose hope feel a diminished self-worth. This is dangerous for a number of reasons, grief, depression, and suicide among them. Reach out, check in, and hover as needed.
All of us should remain vigilant for and act upon these five things. Do not leave warning signs for someone else to mention. Reach out. Engaging without hesitation will help make all of our friendship circles stronger for the long haul.
Thanks again to Mandy Oaklander for sharing this important information.