I recently passed a milestone birthday, a big event for me but I rose that morning wondering if anyone would notice. By sundown I felt like George Bailey in A Wonderful Life. Friends can do that for a man. Mine did.
My work has taken me around the world and the world that day shared its greetings. I received calls, emails, texts, and Facebook notes from hundreds across five continents. What I expected to be an anonymous, quiet dinner turned into one of emotional reflection when I paused to think of all the people who had taken time to wish me well.
Not long ago I had a consulting job in Singapore to help the senior leaders of a legendary company. This wasn’t just any company — it was one of two that offered me a sales career not long after I opted giving up being a famous newspaper reporter because I preferred food in the cupboard to hungrily staring at it in full color images of supermarket circulars.
I worked hard to prep for the Singapore session but never said a word to anyone about how life decades ago had taken me to a crossroad decision. I went one way — Xerox Corporation — and politely but gratefully declined the other.
I loved everything about that other company — the Singapore one — except for one important detail.
When offering me a job the hiring manager smiled and said, “We love you, and would love to have you, but I just want you to know ahead of time: If you join us you’ll have to move. It’s the nature of the career. You won’t stay here. You’ll have to move around.”
His candor was admirable and appreciated, and it weighed heavily in my decision. At the time I was trying to reconcile with my college girlfriend, an idea that seemed logical from my point of view but one she would soon vehemently veto.
Xerox never said a word to me about moving, so I assumed where I was hired — Jacksonville, Florida — was where I’d stay. This would important since it afforded me the opportunity to rekindle the love connection with my former girlfriend.
So I accepted Xerox’s offer and began my sales career in Jacksonville. I was there ten weeks. Xerox then moved me 100 miles south to Ocala. It was the first of many moves over 20 years before I finally left to live my own life helping others rather than those who micromanage funnel forms.
Leaving town proved just as well, as my ex had a very good memory and proved it through words and deeds. She let me spill my guts, then stomped on my heart with spiked shoes and handed me my hat. Things never came close to working out.
She went her way and I went mine. It took me a while to get over it but that’s the way life goes sometimes. Payback can be is a female dog. Especially when your ex has a very crisp memory.
And, by the way, she was not among those who wished me “Happy Birthday.”
It was a very long flight from my home in Denver to Singapore, spanning one lifetime and two million look-backs over the shoulder. Like everyone else my life has evolved based upon the choices I have made and consequences I have received. This was my third to Singapore — an extraordinary city/state — but the first time I would work with the reverse side of the career coin toss I had made so many years ago.
I am fond of saying that days drag but years fly and disembarking at Changi Airport seemed comfortably familiar. The beautiful tree-lined road leading to the city — which has exploded with innovative, eye-catching, modern and progressive architecture — has not changed. But so much else has. The economy is vibrant, the culture respectful, the energy inspiring. If you have not yet had the chance to go, I urge you to visit. Singapore is sublime, as are many other glittering facet locales throughout all of Southeast Asia.
This was a business trip, not a vacation, so every day was about focus and execution. I am not a big self-promoter but am very protective of my reputation as a pro who brings his best every day. This job was a sizable one — I was working with a room of very smart senior execs — and this assignment was a strong test that demanded five great days in a row.
The week flew by and was well received. I embraced the people and company culture, and made new friends from six countries.
As I sat in my chair on Friday afternoon and waited my turn to share parting remarks, I studied every face in the room. To this point I had never mentioned the company and life choice I had made at the dawn of my sales career. The question I mulled was whether or not to share it.
My mouth chose its own answer. After talking about life and kindness and being good and kind and significant in the lives of others — a mantra I chant most everywhere — I paused and looked again at all the business leaders of the assembled six countries. I then spoke briefly of the decision I had faced decades ago.
“Working with you this week has made certain one thing,” I said.
“I would have been happy here. Very happy. And honored to be among you. Thank you for showing me what life would be like had I turned left rather than right. And thank you even more for your kindness. You have all become significant in my life, too.”
When I travel, which is often, and regardless where I go — two million miles now and counting — I collect memories and friends, not memorabilia or stuff.
Singapore took me full circle. One door opened, another remained closed. Decades later I got to crack open that closed one and take a peek inside.
This the way of life. It unfolds based on our decisions. I rarely look back at anything but took the time to do so in Singapore.
I am grateful for that opportunity.