I was in Manhattan recently, a guest on an hour-long syndicated radio show. This was my second appearance on the program and I was happy to be invited back. The host is a happy and chatty sort and the hour flies by.
Near the end of the program he proffered an opinion against which I took exception.
“Let’s face it,” he said. “All worry goes back to the same thing: money!”
“Phooey,” I snorted. “That’s preposterous. People worry about lots of different things. Some worry about money. Other’s don’t. Some people couldn’t care less.”
“Nonsense! All of my friends, that’s all they worry about!”
“What’s that tell you?”
“That money’s it,” he insisted, “the cause of all worry.”
I disagreed. “Not at all. What it tells you is that you hang out with like-minded people who keep score the same way. Personally, I think that’s exactly the wrong way to do it.”
On he prattled, about his 401-K, the stock market, and to quote Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes, “Yadda, yadda, yadda.”
I finally interrupted. “All that money you’re talking about, all that money you worry about that is so darn important you use it to keep score . . . what would you trade for it?”
“Whaddya mean?” he responded, taken aback.
“What would you trade for it?” I persisted. “Would you trade your eyesight for it?”
“No.”
“Your legs? Would you trade life in a wheelchair for it?”
“No.”
“A limb?”
“No.”
“Hmm,” I mused. “Then maybe the way your and your buddies keep score really isn’t so important after all, is it?”
He sat there stumped, silent like a clam at high tide. It was beautiful. I had made my point but continued.
“Prior to the economy going in the tank, people worried about their weight. Now they don’t care. Obese people don’t even see themselves as obese; they’re blind to it. The number one current worry is money. Number two is job security. Money alone is not the issue; being able to secure necessities and honor obligations is the issue.”
I paused before continuing. “Until we’re happy with who we are, we’ll never be happy with what he have. But once we’re happy with who we are, a funny thing happens. We realize we’ve already got enough. We simply lost sight of it.”
None of this discussion was designed to gloss over the fact that millions of wonderful people are searching for work. But this, too, shall pass. They’ll find or create jobs, do great work, and soon be back on their toes with a bounce in their stride. But in the meantime, what would they trade?
What would you trade?
Money is a boxscore convenience, its management a rule of the game but only a chapter of a good life’s rulebook.
A life well lived is a Worry Circle well managed. Worry about things you can control and let those things inspire positive change. Ignore the other noise, the things you can’t control, and never waste a moment stewing over any of them.
Keep score according to what matters in life and coach your friends to do the same. Chances are they haven’t thought about what they’d trade—or wouldn’t trade—for a few more bucks, either. It is a question worth asking. And answering.