Changing perceptions hinges on two things: actions and receptivity.
To dissect both, we first need to understand the four elements of effective communication. They are:
- Sender
- Receiver
- Channel
- Message
We judge ourselves by our intentions; others judge us by our actions. A Sender who hopes to change a perception must refocus less on what he or she meant to do and more on what words or behaviors (or blend of both) they now need to implement.
The Receiver is the intended audience. Receivers can be an audience of one, an audience of several, or an audiences of many. For a wayward husband, the Receiver is the aggrieved spouse. For a fumbling sports star or celebrity, primary and secondary Receivers include hiring executives, the media, and his or her fan base. In order to effectively change an existing perception, the Receiver audience must be defined and targeted.
The Channel is how the new message or messages will be conveyed. Apologies can, for example, be communicated a myriad of ways: electronically or via telephone, the written word, a visual medium, or in person.
Every channel has its strengths and limitations. In-person is most effective because here the most two important enablers for changing opinion come into play. In effective communication, more than half of a message transfers non-verbally (55 percent). Thirty-eight percent is interpreted via voice and tone. Only seven percent of the message is comprised of the actual words.
In-person exchanges work best because they incorporate all three. Email, on the other hand, is weak, for email is word reliant and pitiful at conveying emotion, voice, and tone. It is also absent of non-verbal communication. Add the limitations together and it’s easy to see why digital communications are far less impactful than face-to-face meetings.
The Message is what we choose to say or the deeds we choose to perform. To have maximum impact, the Message must be tailored to, and relevant to, the Receiver or Receivers. The conveyance of that Message is impacted positively or negatively by the chosen Channel(s). Messages that are off-point, insincere, or utilize the wrong Channel will thud. The right combination can work.
Public relations firms are built around the strategic management of those four things: Sender, Receiver, Channel, and Message. The desired result, a changed perception, is hard or easy to achieve depending on how well the four elements are planned, crafted, integrated, and executed.
The essence of human behavior is simple: What we think drives how we feel and how we feel drives what we do. Existing perceptions, therefore, are conclusions drawn from observations mapped against current expectations. Disjoints create problems. Alignment causes support.
In order to change a person’s perception, we must take actions that modify what people think. The best way to do that is not by a fancy email, but by a track record of consistent deeds. Remember: We judge ourselves by our intentions but others judge us by our actions.
But change is a two-way street. No matter how hard a Sender tries, perceptions will not change unless Receivers are open-minded. Since all of us can and do change, we should extend that courtesy to others. Being open-minded to the collection of new data, and from it new conclusions, is a strength and not a weakness.
These days too many people (I believe) live on a reflexive loop of quick judgment and negativity. A reflexive loop is a predictable set of unchanging beliefs and filters. This is an easy but unfulfilling way to go through life. Push back on accepting the opinions of others as your own. Do not dwell on the way things were; live in a curious place that studies the way things are today. Wipe the slate clean and be willing to trade reflexive loops for new prescription lenses. Through them, draw your own, new conclusions.
This is a challenge because we are pounded daily by a tidal surge of negativity. Once caught in a negative undertow, it’s easy to stay trapped because others tell us what’s wrong with a person or situation rather than what’s positive or redeeming.
Our power comes from realizing that what we choose to look for is up to us. Look for the good, see the good. Look for the bad, see the bad. For Receivers to be willing to change their perceptions, they must avoid stereotypes and retake control of their own decisions.
Age brings gray hair, a lower bowling score, and a battery of lifelong experience. It also demonstrates that nearly all of us can, and do, change what and why we do or don’t do things, and how we have evolved through different stages while en route to birthdays with style and grace.
Be grateful for that, for command of a mind that’s strong enough to openly change existing perceptions is a wonderful gift. Coach and support others who are trying to do the same.
I often coach my leadership executives that people are, in many ways, herd animals, just like sheep; and five sheep determine the direction of the flock. Depending on changing circumstances such as food, water, safety, and weather, those five steer the behaviors of all the rest. We are much the same way: At work and in the community, some lead, most follow, and others get out of the way.
In life and at the office, we can lead. We can study new facts, look at situations through new lenses, and draw new conclusions.
When we do, as with the meandering flock, the view up front is a whole lot better than back in the pack.