After speaking at Colorado School of Mines yesterday about Worry Circle management and The Impact of Technology on Behavior & Happiness, one of the attendees pointed out that I mentioned the importance of keeping heart and heart aligned but didn’t explain how to do so. This was a great reflective point that deserves a written answer.
In all of my behavioral sessions I strongly message the need for personal ownership of head management and acute awareness of self. This is introspective, divorced from digital interaction, so knowing that there are times each day to put down the gizmos and think is essential.
Three things, I said, help keep my head and heart aligned:
- Manage the Worry Circle. The Worry Circle is the imaginary bubble inside the mind that houses everything we worry about. Worry is a normal, essential part of life. Each of us is empowered to choose what we worry about and what we do not. When we only worry about thing in life we can control — meaning our thoughts and behaviors — we live in grounded confidence. If and when something bugs us enough to act, we are empowered to do so. A self-confidence and assuredness comes from that awareness.
- Time choice decision-making. I live with a great sense of urgency and hate to waste a single minute, and teach that our waking hours pass one of four ways: We either Waste, Spend, Invest, or Cherish each minute. Investment time isn’t tied to money, it refers to things that matter. Cherish moments make life worth living. You can wait and hope for Cherish moments to happen or create them in the lives of others — a sublimely magnificent approach to life — but a life devoid of Cherish moments will always be emptier than one where Cherish time is prominently featured. As far as the other two time choices go, I am almost over-the-top fanatical about not Wasting time and Spend as little as possible on activities that generate no physical, emotional, cerebral, or spiritual return. Own your time choices. Be aware of how your life is passing by.
- Sleep. I get plenty of sleep, eight or nine hours a night. A full night’s sleep refreshes the brain and primes us for a great launch to a new day. We wake up feeling good and ready to go. Conversely, it is tough to fire on all cylinders and zoom through a productive day if our body is sputtering on fumes as soon as we try to get going. Never underestimate the power and influence sleep has on happiness, attitude, efficiency, and life’s pursuit of personal fulfillment. Sleep is a major player.
Sound sleep, I said, enables me to start each day in a positive, rested, ready-to-go frame of mind.
Worry Circle management enables me to keep my head preoccupied with the right things and devoid of the toxins that come from dwelling on uncontrollable things beyond my ability to remedy. Things I can influence but not control I immediately separate by asking, “What part can I control and what part can’t I?” By separating those two components I am able to own the piece I should (the controllables) and jettison the part I shouldn’t (the uncontrollables).
Disciplined awareness and head management create two important things, clarity of thought and discipline of focus. When we apply those two enablers to prudent time choices, we are free to be productive (not just busy).
All of us know the enjoyment that comes from a full day that is satisfyingly productive. Find your personal alignment formula and protect it. It’s incredibly worth doing so.
