Office Etiquette, part 3 of 3
Proper Behavior When You Are the Boss
The hardest job in any company is usually front-line manager. Depending on the organization and its promotion strategies, the people selected to man that front line of management are either a good fit or poor fit for the job.
Since bosses are like politics — everybody has an opinion — they go with the paycheck. Part of what we’re paid for is to deal with them.
The “old school” model of promoting top individual contributors often fails, especially in pro selling. There are many reasons but suffice it to say that regardless whether the manager has a good KSA (Knowledge, Skill, & Attribute) fit for the role or not, he or she still needs sufficient social decorum to interface effectively with the troops.
We’ve seen the reason why countless times in practice: People will do a whole lot more if they like and respect someone than they will if they don’t.
Here are ten tips on how to communicate more effectively with the troops when you are the one in charge:
- Be gracious. Want respect? Give respect. The boss sets the tone. Lead by example.
- Don’t be too assertive. People know you’re the boss, you do not need to keep proving it. Way back in 1901 when Theodore Roosevelt said, “Speak softly, and carry a big stick,” he explained the point perfectly: negotiate tactfully, act aggressively only if you must.
- Try to be available on a regular, predictable basis. Keeping in touch is a great enabler for managers wanting to sustain a positive, self-motivated work culture. Good bosses help individuals learn self-motivation. They also create an inspirational climate that strengthens collective teams. Great managers coach groups — collections of individuals — to outstanding achievements. No one can do this in a vacuum. As part of your personal management brand, make sure you are approachable and available.
- Listen smartly. Good bosses listen to their people for two things, content (what they say) and emotional resonance, which is the degree of importance the workers place on that information. Mediocre bosses miss the emotional clues. Great ones dial in.
- When you delegate a responsibility, empower the person or term to succeed and make sure they know what success looks like. Provide latitude for invention and support if needed. Micromanagement is self-defeating but delegation is great — it lets people accept responsibility and grow. Dumping (“Here, hold this bag”) is disrespectful and demoralizing. Be a delegator, not a dumper or micromanager.
- Respect your people as knowledgeable and/or skilled at what they do, and remain open to their opinions and ideas. Recognize their ideas and identify them with respect (i.e., colleagues, coworkers, associates, etc.). Park your ego, nurture your people. Make them feel good about caring and being heard. Doing so boosts their morale.
- Don’t meddle. Trust your people to work out their personal and professional problems. Be available to coach, which means “teach,” but do not hover, butt in, or tell them what to do. If you are approachable and have a reputation for being a people-centric supporter, they will come to you when the time is right. Give them options. Discuss the options. Leave them to decide what’s best.
- Build confidence individually and collectively by being sincere with praise, recognition, and enthusiastic support. A little sugar can go a very long way.
- Manage the emotional experience of all your people, even the ones you do not feel close to. Great managers can matrix-manage effectively because they have deft people skills. Great leaders are even more powerful. They inspire a strong desire for the troops to go beyond mediocrity. First impressions are difficult to change. If we have a less than thrilling impression of one person, we have a choice: leave it that way or work to change it. Change it. Do not accept the status quo as eternal.
- Above all, never forget that being respected is more important than being liked. Workers want to grow, they want to succeed, and they want to be part of a winning team. The boss sets the tone. When he or she works to high standards and leads by example, they have every right to expect their teams to do the same. Do not pander to the least common denominator, nor make management decisions based on popularity. Far too often employees act like little kids. They will get test you to see how much they can get away with. Too much tolerance and too little discipline causes way too many problems. Respect and likeability are not mutually exclusive — but the are two different things.
Like Roosevelt said, “Speak softly, and carry a big stick.” Both of them come in handy throughout the course of a long managerial career.