It’s been fun easing into the fall and winter film season as more movies are released into theaters and some earn their well deserved accolades.
Here are this month’s 18, each rated on a zero to five scale, with zero representing The Dreaded Fist of Badness — a film so bad should be able to pop someone on the snout to get our money back — while others range up to a High Five, meaning absolutely terrific. Decorum prevents the giving of a “one finger” review, with twos not worth paying to see, and threes being “just a movie.” A four-finger review means the movie is excellent, with High Fives rating as truly superb.
This month’s are all across the board but, as always, feel free to chime in if I’ve got one wrong. Everyone’s opinion is correct in movie watching and I always love to hear what you guys think.
Here we go:
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life – 2 fingers. This coming of age comedy about a rebellious teen’s middle school angst blends live action with cartoon fantasy but suffers from shortcuts in talent, script editing, and directing to rise above anything except a rainy day time killer.
The Dressmaker – 4 fingers. Fresh, creative, and starring a wonderful Kate Winslett as a small town Aussie fashionista who returns to the tiny, dusty, crossroad town where she has unfinished business with several petty locals, this fun movie is a real treat from start to finish.
Deepwater Horizon – 3 fingers. Based on the true story of BP’s colossal oil rig mess off the Louisiana coast, there’s nothing here we haven’t seen before and not enough meat on the bones to sate anyone hoping for more than good performances by protagonist Mark Wahlberg and antagonist John Malkovich.
The Birth of A Nation – 2 fingers. One of the most anticipated but disappointing films of autumn suffers from a myriad of major problems in design and execution, all of which doom this ambitious pre-Civil War story about slave preacher Nat Turner’s ill-fated rebellion against white southern plantation owners.
Queen of Katwe – 4 fingers. This inspiring true story of an Ugandan teenager who lives in the slums but rises out of nowhere to become a national chess champion benefits from great work by the entire production team and outstanding performances by starts David Oyelowo and Lupita Nyong’o.
M. S. Dhoni: The Untold Story – 4 fingers. A well made, uplifting Bollywood film is always a treat, and this three-hour sanitized biopic about Indian cricketer Mahi Dhoni’s unexpected rise to World Cup superstar is a true joy for those who appreciate the country, culture, and sport.
Denial – 2 fingers. This disappointing drama centered around a British courtroom trial that pits a Holocaust denier (Timothy Spann from Harry Potter) against an outspoken American author (Rachel Weisz), fails to grip the audience for a number of reasons, all of which add up to a “skip it” recommendation.
Masterminds – 0 fingers, The Dreaded Fist of Badness! Easily one of the worst films of the year, this alleged comedy is anything but, and proves only that a dumb adaptation of one of America’s largest-ever inside job cash heists, combined with a lousy script, dreadful cast, poor direction, amateurish videography, and dumb sound track make for a dreadfully bad movie.
The Accountant – 2 fingers. The first third of this theoretical thriller about a savant accountant (Ben Affleck) whose skill at financial forensics makes him a global favorite to the titans of the underworld starts out okay, takes a quick turn for the worse in Act Two, and cannonballs into absolutely awful during a dreadful Act III.
Little Sister – 4 fingers. This tightly crafted indy film about a dysfunctional family dealing with the return from the Middle East of her horribly disfigured son benefits from a surprisingly strong performance by Ally Sheedy as a drug-addled, emotionally fragile matriarch whose life is further complicated by her daughter’s unexpected visit after taking a break from her religious studies at the nunnery to try and help her brother.
American Honey – 4 fingers. This long, disturbing, and thought-provoking ride-a-long with a group of twentysomething street rats hawking magazine subscriptions from city to city across America is bothersome on many levels, but strikes a series of seldom rung chords for fans of gritty, visceral filmmaking.
The Girl on the Train – 3 fingers. Popular books adapted to film are usually either very good or very bad but rarely in-between, and this choppy adaptation of the popular British novel would sink like a stone if not for the great work of Emily Blunt as the tormented alcoholic whose visual fixation out a train window obsesses on a neighbor’s idyllic life leads to a complex murder investigation.
Ouija: Origin of Evil – 3 fingers. This well made and professional follow-up to 2014’s scary sleeper hit is good but not great; and years from now might become known as the film that introduced the world to a fantastic young actress, Lulu Wilson, whose terrific performance as a 9-year-old girl possessed by a vengeful spirit is a real treat to watch.
Certain Women – 0 fingers, The Dreaded Fist of Badness. Easily the slowest and most boring film of the year, this pointless snooze lasts forever and paints life in rural Montana to be about absolutely nothing.
A Man Named Ove – 4 fingers. Easily one of the year’s best foreign imports, this charming Swedish comedy about the unusual life of an irascible curmudgeon ticks every box an entertaining mainstream picture should.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – 2 fingers. Sometimes even a good cast cannot lift up a weak story and unevenly made sequel, as this disappointing follow-up to action star Tom Cruise’s hoped for tent-pole series unfortunately proves.
Inferno – 2 fingers. Tom Hanks and Ron Howard typically team to make quality films, but this adaptation of Dan Brown’s novel about a world plague is painfully disappointing from almost every angle and certainly not worth paying to see.
Delicatessen – 5 finger High Five. Although not for the squeamish, this fabulously intricate black French comedy about a butcher shop whose succulent cuts come from upstairs renters showcases what great creative talents can do when skillfully blending high concept ideas, great comedic subtleties, and near flawless execution to create a fresh, clever, and thoroughly entertaining film.
Thanks for reading….and keep an eye on November’s releases, several of which offer great promise.
Happy Halloween!
