August 14, 2013
People who write movie scripts tend to watch a lot of them and are never shy of sharing an opinion. Listed below are one-sentence reviews for 21 recent and current films, each judged by my “5-finger” scoring system.
Ratings: 5 fingers = a great film easily worth the money. 4 fingers = excellent. 3 fingers = just a movie. 2 fingers = disappointing. 1 finger = well, decency dictates I skip using one finger so instead of a 1-finger rating I use 0 (a closed fist) = we should punch everyone involved.
The Attack
Gripping, beautifully made, and perfectly paced foreign film built around a surprise revelation dealing with the Arab/Israeli conflict in and around Palestine. 5 fingers.
The Way Way Back
There is much to like about this imperfectly cast and at times uneven coming-of-age story about discombobulated parents and teens vacationing near a New England water park. 3 fingers.
20 Feet From Stardom
This little labor of love documentary shares an inside look at underpaid and virtually anonymous minority backup singers who have helped rock stars’ fame and fortunes by singing some of the most memorable complementary and contributory lines in modern music history. 4 fingers.
Fruitvale Station
Terrific low budget feature by a first time director (that will be Oscar nominated), centering around the gripping true story of a senseless New Year’s Eve shooting of an imperfect passenger by a train cop at a BART platform near San Francisco. 5 fingers.
The Lone Ranger
Despite its massive budget, this overblown protracted mess bungles the story of a timeless American folk hero and his just as famous Indian sidekick, providing plenty of opportunity for fingers to point at whomever is responsible since so few are needed to rate it. 2 fingers — only because Trigger the horse was good.
Man of Steel
Christopher Nolan’s executive producer influence pollutes a ponderously dark and dreary act one but luckily gives way to a great act two before wobbling at the end from a belabored and overcooked CGI (computer generated) “climax” that buries most of the good work the strong cast worked so hard to deliver. 3 fingers.
Iron Man 3
Robert Downey Jr. owns this role and earns his money, delivering great fun from start to finish. 5 fingers.
The Great Gatsby
A terrific story reduced to bare mediocrity by overblown staging, an uneven script adaptation, questionable directorial decision-making, and herky-jerky editing. 2 fingers.
Fast & Furious 6
I am not a motorhead — my car is old and doesn’t run a whole lot faster than I do — but I absolutely loved the way Vin Diesel picked up and carried this fun, engaging film exactly the way a true big screen movie star is supposed to. 4 fingers.
Elysium
A dragging and disappointingly flawed computer-driven (and weakly cast) film that disappoints during a summer of big budget features that all seem to be relying on computer-driven monsters, alternative worlds, and audience leaps of faith. 2 fingers.
2 Guns
The interesting pairing of Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg in this thinly veiled black & white buddy cop film harkens back to the good old days of Danny Glover and Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, but is too long on noise and kaboom and short on story, chemistry, and believability. 3 fingers.
The Wolverine
Surprisingly strong special effects movie (see Elysium shortcoming) and a buffed Hugh Jackman giving his all elevates this comic book action pic’s very good story as high as anyone could take it. 4 fingers.
The Conjuring
One of the big surprises of the summer, this tight little fright night movie is very well crafted and a ton of fun — even for those who don’t generally like the genre. 4 fingers.
Pacific Rim
One of the best films I’ve seen since springtime, this impeccably made reason to visit the theater is the standard by which all other recent computer generated war-of-the-worlds films should be measured. 4 fingers.
The Heat
Sandra Bullock and Megan McCarthy are more fun to watch in this female buddy cop film than Washington and Wahlberg are in 2 Guns, which enables its thin premise and mediocre script to safely stay afloat. 3 fingers.
This Is The End
This end-of-the-world buddy picture about a bunch of Hollywood stoners being themselves at a party during the Apocalypse is a great way to kill an afternoon rainstorm—assuming you are trapped inside and didn’t drive to the theater to intentionally see it. 2 fingers.
World War Z
Brad Pitt’s passion project and hoped-for franchise film is two-plus dragging hours of overblown blah-blah with a weak cast that cannot hold a widget to a big movie computer monster movie like Pacific Rim or a little zombie film like Shawn of the Dead. 2 fingers.
Now You See Me
This alakazam razzle-dazzle film about four Las Vegas magicians robbing a Parisian bank is long on glitz and glitter but a barren wasteland for the key essentials of good filmmaking — and thin as wallpaper on all the rest. 2 fingers.
RED 2
This brisk, entertaining comedic effort is better than the first one (RED) — so it is watchable — thanks to great teamwork and chemistry between Bruce Willis and John Malkovich, who put on a clinic for every aspiring actor hoping to learn how great pros can make each other look good. 3 fingers.
Only God Forgives
By far one of the worst films ever shown, including home movies. 0 fingers – a fist in the face to all involved.
Chennai Express
Typical Bollywood fun — singing, dancing, corny jokes, colorful costumes, illogical story construction, capped off by herky-jerky editing and a loud and raucous score — combine for great fun, including the unexpected 5-minute intermission 75 minutes in. 4 fingers.
That’s it for now, folks. See you at the theater!